In fact, I'm not really comfortable with labels at all, but I believe they have some use. To communicate, we rely largely on words. Words can be wonderful things, but they are also very imprecise, and they are a double edged sword with the power to mislead as well as inform.
On top of that, language is something we've invented. It's not built into the universe. It is arbitrary and ever-changing.
In relationships, we commonly use words like: Heterosexual, homosexual, gay, straight, bi, bicurious, male, female, transgender, kinky, vanilla, monogamous, polyamorous.
Then there are words which have been relegated to the back pages of the collective human psyche: Pansexual, asexual, aromantic, biromantic, panromantic, heteroromantic, homoromantic, gray-asexual, demisexual, demisexual, heteroflexible, homoflexible, genderqueer, non-binary, agender, androgynous, pandrogynous, two-spirit.
... Far from a full list.
And some words have even been actively devalued. "Friendship" for example. I can't tell you how many relationship guides I have seen for getting out of the "friend zone."
Yet for a lot of people, friendship is the core, most important relationship, and platonic relationships may bring the greatest joy.
Why do we come up with labels? We do it in an attempt to communicate something of who we are and how we experience life to other people. Labels are signposts of identity.
Labels are dangerous though, because they can restrict our sense of self, and they can also easily miscommunicate who we are.
The culture is always changing it, and with it, the meanings tied to do different words and ideas. There are battles over the meanings of each of these words--battles to restrict identity by those who devalue diversity and wish to use labels to control and subjugate.
Labels are Approximations Only
A productive way to look at labels and think about them is as rough orbits around stars--not exact locations. There is a LOT of space around any given star, and two people who identify as heterosexual may have a totally different experience of what that means, and travel in completely different orbits around that single signpost. Two people who identify as polyamorous may have completely different lifestyles. Two people who identify as genderqueer could have very different gender-identities.
In other words, your mileage may vary. Human experience is subjective.
And that's what this blog is about.
I want to share what I observe for my own orbits, within a friendly, safe context that recognizes and celebrates the diversity of the human spirit. I believe that the human race is a LOT more diverse than the dominant powers want us to believe, and I think that people are often scared to speak up, because they are afraid of being misunderstood and marginalized. I know I am. I want to use this blog as a space to gently correct myths and misconceptions, and explore possibilities.
As human beings, we are free to re-define a lot more than just words. Each of us is free to re-define what it means to be human.
Topics I will cover include:
- Gender identity
- Human sexuality
- Orientations (sexual and otherwise)
- The nature of language
- The role of community
- The lasting effects of industrialization
- Feminism and LGBT topics
- Kink
- Romantic, sexual, and platonic relationships
- Pop culture
I want to share a little of what 21st century living feels like from where I stand. Hopefully readers of my blog will walk away realizing that there is a spectrum of diversity in human relationships and identities. Maybe you will relate to my experiences and perceptions. Maybe you won't. Even if you don't, maybe you'll feel more comfortable and confident living in your own orbits.
